I have the strongest urge to get drunk today. Blegh.

Stay Classy, Internets.
♡ Kristen

Thanks to Wm Rowe

I have learned so much from cooking by watching the Food Network. My husband loves the fact that I have gotten into watching the food network because I have been trying all sorts of new recipes. When we first got married, I did not do much cooking. We both had good jobs and I did not enjoy cooking that much, so we ate out quite a bit. However, after the birth of our first child, I started working only part time, and we no longer had the budget to eat out all of the time. Since then I have grown to enjoy cooking. Every day my husband comes home from work and takes the kids for an hour so I can cook dinner. It has become my time to relax. I have some time to myself, and I really enjoy trying the new dishes. We have also saved a lot of money because we are eating out less. Overall, my love of cooking has been a great thing for our family. I never knew that I would love cooking so much, and my husband has never been so glad that we have Direct tv.

I just have like zero energy. I wound up in the dentist chair on Tuesday for a two and a half hour session where they did a root canal and removed the remains of my broken tooth. The antibiotics they gave me wind up making me feel a little icky and then I started getting really severe heartburn. Apparently that is normal? Thanks for the warning, pharmacist. On top of that, they gave me vicodin for the pain. I would say that I’ve never slept better but Charlie has been even more obnoxious lately and is keeping me awake. I have stitches in my mouth. Ugh.

*curls back up in bed*

But yes, this and more would be why I failed so hardcore at the 30-day posting thing. And NaNoWriMo. Whatevs.

Stay Classy, Internets.
♡ Kristen

NGL. I’m so attracted to Kurt Schneider. Yeah, Sam Tsui has great vocals but the instruments and just… unf.

3. What kind of person attracts you.

Requirements:
1. needs to have a sense of humor
2. needs to be financially responsible
3. needs to be taller than me =P

I like people who are laid back and not in the mindset of ‘we have to do something!’ all the time. I am definitely attracted to someone I can laugh with because I love to laugh and it is very rare that I have the sides-hurt kind of laugh. I am also attracted to people who make me feel safe. This encompasses a lot because it involves physical well being as well as emotional and mental.

Physically, I am attracted to people who are taller than me. I like to lean against someone and rest my head on their chest or fit up under their chin. But most importantly, I am drawn to eyes. If someone has gorgeous eyes, I am lost in an instant. Moving from there, I love a good set of arms and hands.

Stay Classy, Internets.
♡ Kristen

2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

In some ways, I have become stronger while in others I have become weaker. Two years ago would have been 11/02/2009 and I was still in a relationship that was toxic for my mental well being. It has taken me a little over a year to finally release the tension and emotions behind the realization that I’d made myself blind. He was good for me in many ways but he was bad for me in many, many more. A lot is still blamed upon my inability to communicate. But there was a lot behind that inability that should have been recognized by the other party.

I suck at opening myself up and forming intimate bonds with anyone.

Slowly, I am recognizing the whys behind this. Apparently, a lot of the emotional and psychological symptoms I display are very common with PTSD, being the victim of sexual abuse, and being a rape victim. Since I refuse to be a victim who does not progress past their problems, I have made the decision to seek professional help. Now that I know what I am looking for, I do not have to feel like I am merely throwing myself into someone hands and going ‘fix me!’ since I have a good, solid starting place now.

I have cut almost all of my emotional ties with anyone I considered a friend and that was a mistake. Even years ago, I had the realization that I had the ability to walk away from anyone and any place and simply cut my ties. Most people would have been bothered by that and yet here I am, a year later, and I did just that. “Just talk to me! Stop bottling all that shit up!” is not really a viable option since I don’t have a switch that I can flip on and off.

So I will keep writing, keep bottling, and see if a trained neutral party can slowly help me get past the emotional traumas and allow me to love myself and others.

Stay Classy, Internets.
♡ Kristen

1. Weird things you do when you’re alone.

I talk to myself. If I am in the car, I talk to myself. If I am at home and there is the possibility of someone hearing me, I talk to myself in my head.

As far back as I can remember, I have done this. It was only until I was older that I realized having the conversations outside of my head was actually not normal. And it’s not like I have conversations with myself. I’m, more often than not, actually playing out scenes in my head when I’m hit with an idea for a scene or something within one of my writing projects.

Speaking of writing projects, Happy NaNoWriMo! This is the last year in which I can make an honest effort and still make my Day Zero Goal. I’ve picked up a few tips and tricks here and there and hope that they will help me to just write for once. I need to turn off my Inner Editor.

Stay Classy, Internets.
♡ Kristen